Being taken for granted for so long is really getting to me.

'If you're lying, may you rot from the inside out.'


Though I was honest,the other day I broke out in severe hives and for a moment I contemplated the notion that it was possibly the physical initiation of this "rotting" process.


I have not written anything valid in a while. There are so many fragments of poignant moments that I'd wish to translate into words, but my limited vocabulary and my inability to write keep them where they are the safest...

You will never understand what it is that you retain. According to how I perceive the world, you meant it to me. The last thing I wrote was a love profession on a napkin while forcing myself to eat, despite the terrible culmination of anxiety and an overwhelming feeling that I can best describe as a bout of "lovesickness". I was draped in your sweater, shamelessly unkempt, sinking into various depths of nostalgia. You will never understand the content of this letter, as I will never read it to you. Perhaps I've illustrated these words to you, while you were inebriated or maybe while you took on a different vessel.

What is it that I can't quite grasp? What is it that defines me? I don't remember my name, really. You never liked capitalizing 'I' so every time I do it I feel myself dizzily shuffling towards the edge. I constantly strip everything down to the core. I indulge whenever I can taste the slight hint of vulnerability. I was never a fan of a facade, nor was I ever impressed by any characteristic that diverted my understanding of what is it that makes you 'human'. If I were to say that I am worth too much to be tossed away that would certainly help me believe that I'm on the right path to narcissism! Who am I, in comparison to anyone else? No more, no less. There are characteristics but what do those matter? I feel perfectly erect, for once. Constantly in thought, constantly pulling each leg out further to help calm that feeling of claustrophobia.

Every quality, you hate. What am I doing here? What am I doing with you? My self-destructive nature? I'm sorry, my supposed self-destructive nature. I can still feel your heartbeat, somewhere within the vicinity of ..this.


'The most beautiful girl in this room, this house, this city, this state, this world. All I had to look at were your eyes. They were so distinctly vibrant that no other part right along with them could suffice. You were out of the car, completely somewhere else. I don't know if you thought of me as a dream, as something to escape...but I realized in that moment how much I did love you.'




Drifting away, and well you might say
I'm losing focus.

Current Music: dfsdfadfaeraeraer

thelifelist
A forum for exchanging lists of things you'd like to have done before you die.

ljsecret
Share a secret through the means of art, under complete anonymity.

mourning_souls
A community for cemetery photographers, dark poets and anyone else who appreciates and admires the beauty of cemeteries.

Account Structure Update
Back by popular demand, Basic Accounts will be available to all users again by the end of the (northern hemisphere) summer. More information on the decision-making process and proposals relating to the future of Basic Accounts are in lj_2008.

New Themes
Two attractive and all-new Flexible Squares themes, "Circular" and "Circular Brown" are now available.


L to R: Circular and Brown

New V-Gifts
Give someone you care about the gift of enticement. With the new Chocolate Ice Cream, Vanilla Ice Cream, Tea, Coffee, Curry and Sushi v-gifts, all the significant people in your life will be able to share in the longing for the tasty edibles below. Plus, it reminds loved ones you think they're really sweet, really savory or just plain satisfying.


L to R: Chocolate Ice Cream, Vanilla Ice Cream, Tea, Coffee, Curry and Sushi

Ж-Men...but not the ones you might expect!
This week LJ Russia launched Ж-Men, a new comedy series about superheroes, inspired by the LJ communities dedicated to superheros, comics and cartoons. The title's "Ж" comes from ЖЖ, the nickname for LiveJournal in Russia.

Ж-Men's script is written by a group of LJ enthusiasts who also happen to be television professionals. Who knew? Following the premiere, five more episodes will be broadcast over the next two weeks. We hope you find the series fresh and enjoyable.

This is, of course, an experiment for LiveJournal. As always, we'd love to hear what you think!

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linebyline
A writing prompt where members respond to single phrases and use them in their posts.

plants
A community for green thumbs, botany enthusiasts and lovers of plant life.

mst3k
The LiveJournal destination for Mystery Science Theater 3000 fans.